Eh. Humans are uncomfortable with silence and direct eye contact. If I only had a nickel for every time my conversations were filled with inane comments to prevent any space of stillness. Let us call these entities sharks; Just keep swimming/walking/talking/lying/etc... Unable to pause, unable to keep still or silent, they are doomed to continue in constant action for fear that stopping will enlighten them to some great and not-promised-by-Barack-Obama transcendental truth. And no one wants enlightenment, now, do they? After all, we have named, categorized, and bottled - for your convenience - every secret that this world has to offer (Good night, sleep tight, don't let the Cimex lectularius bite). Why? For science, my dear boy! The study and remediation of the human fear of insignificance!
Somewhere many miles from here, a man is searching for the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, while another is forming hypotheses concerning the nature of ultraviolet rays in rainbow composition. Scientists call rainbows a "phenomenon", for lack of a better term (or imagination). They also believe that 14 million years ago something went boom and now Michigan looks like a senile old man without dentures. The Wiz is badly written.
Sleep is the milkshake of life. Some people choose the strawberry and slurp contentedly their faux-fruity beverage. Some people buy the chocolate chip and then complain about their straws becoming blocked with chocolate-y goodness. And some are stuck with the haphazardly-concocted vanilla which, although unassuming, always contains the bitter remains from the machine's mechanical mixer, and is ultimately undrinkable. I should probably try my luck with smoothies.
Somewhere many miles from here, a man is searching for the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, while another is forming hypotheses concerning the nature of ultraviolet rays in rainbow composition. Scientists call rainbows a "phenomenon", for lack of a better term (or imagination). They also believe that 14 million years ago something went boom and now Michigan looks like a senile old man without dentures. The Wiz is badly written.
Sleep is the milkshake of life. Some people choose the strawberry and slurp contentedly their faux-fruity beverage. Some people buy the chocolate chip and then complain about their straws becoming blocked with chocolate-y goodness. And some are stuck with the haphazardly-concocted vanilla which, although unassuming, always contains the bitter remains from the machine's mechanical mixer, and is ultimately undrinkable. I should probably try my luck with smoothies.
You know you're a pessimist when you complain about your team's shortcomings after winning the Super Bowl.
HOLY FECK
ReplyDeletethese are allll unendlessly amusing
WRITE BOOKS AND I WILL PAY YOU FAR TOO MUCH FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i really like the eye contact one. you're right. far too many people think silences and eye contact are awkward.
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